Taking the Next Step Together
We understand how choosing dementia care can feel overwhelming. We are here to guide you gently, answer your questions honestly and support you with every moment.
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“It’s let me be his Wife again”
Every family who walks through our doors has a story, and for Elaine and her husband Martin, that story has been one of heartbreak, resilience and, finally, peace.
When Everything Changed Unexpectedly.
Before dementia entered their lives, Martin and Elaine were simply enjoying life together. Nothing could have prepared them for the journey that lay ahead or the speed at which everything would change. What followed was a series of challenges that tested them both and eventually led them to Wentworth Court in search of understanding, support and somewhere Martin could truly feel safe.
Following a serious head injury, Martin’s personality began to change. He became forgetful, confused and increasingly distressed. Everyday tasks became difficult and his behaviour became unpredictable and, at times, aggressive. A later scan revealed frontal temporal damage and his condition progressed rapidly.
“There were social workers involved, the police were involved, and eventually he was sectioned,” Elaine recalls. “It all happened so fast.”
Martin spent 18 months in a mental health hospital while professionals tried to stabilise his condition. He repeatedly tried to leave and several placements in care homes broke down because his distress and behaviours, driven by confusion and fear, became too difficult to manage.
Then Elaine heard about Wentworth Court through an acquaintance. “I was told, ‘Ask for Gez. He’ll look after you both.” And soon after, we welcomed Martin and Elaine to Wentworth Court.
Finding the Calm.
“From the moment he came here, he was calm,” says Elaine. “He didn’t try to escape once. The environment here is just so gentle and quietly accepting.” For Elaine, the difference was immediate.
“The staff are just so kind and understanding. They’re here because they want to be.”
What has meant the most to her is that the kindness extends far beyond the care team.
“You expect the receptionists to be lovely and the carers to be kind. But here, even the handyman stops to talk to Martin. He talks to him about shared interests from his past and people they both know. Everyone has time for Martin. It doesn’t seem to matter that he can’t reply – they just like to engage with him.”
At Wentworth Court, we understand that what can be seen as challenging behaviour is often a form of communication. Behind every action is a person who may be frightened, confused or struggling to make sense of the world around them. Our team takes the time to understand each individual and responds with patience, kindness and reassurance.
“They never frighten him or create a stand-off. They know him. They know what works.”
Being Husband and Wife, Together Again.
For families living with dementia, these seemingly small acts of understanding make an enormous difference, and for Elaine, it has meant she can simply be a wife again.
“Most of his care is now supported by the team here, but they let me still care for him in my own way.” If she wants to help him wash, get him dressed or trim his hair with the electric clippers she brings in every couple of weeks, she can. If he doesn’t want to shave that day, nobody questions it.
“Everyone recognises it’s my time with him, and these moments matter more than words can express.
I can cut his nails, massage his feet and just be with him.
It lets me be his wife again.”
Sometimes, it’s the little things that matter the most.
The team also understands the importance of the little things that make us who we are.
Before he became unwell, Martin was rarely seen without his corduroy deck cap. It was part of his identity and remains an important comfort to him today. It is often the first thing he reaches for when he wakes up and, occasionally, he even wears it to bed. If his cap gets misplaced, the team always know it belongs to Martin and make sure it finds its way back to him.
For Elaine, that understanding means everything.
“They know how important it is to him. It’s his link to his past and to the life he had before dementia.”
More than anything, Wentworth Court hasn’t simply provided a place for Martin to live. It has given both of them something they thought they might never have again: peace. “He’s not anxious here. He’s not fearful of the staff. He’s settled.” After years of crisis, hospital admissions and placements breaking down, that sense of calm means everything.
“There are some very special people here,” Elaine says. “People who genuinely care.
They look after Martin, but they look after me too.”
At Wentworth Court, we believe exceptional dementia care is not only about supporting the person living with dementia. It’s also about supporting the people who love them too – helping families reconnect, restoring relationships and creating moments that allow families and loved ones to simply spend precious time together, once again.
A huge thank you to Elaine for allowing us to share such a personal journey. It is a privilege to support both you and Martin and to be part of your lives.
